MY HEART IS FULL

Ok, for those of you who have known me for the past several years, SIT DOWN NOW!!! Mom, that means you. I have some things I want to say and some of you might be a little shocked.
First of all, it was only like 60 here today.. and tonight when I had to work, I wore a sweatshirt!!! Just wanted to share that with all of you. And Erika, come on down. I will make room.

Ok now.... ready.....

My life has been all kinds of crazy the past few months. I moved to Houston for two reasons. One was a job... the usual.. the second was to find out just what I wanted and who I was. Well when I first got here, I went to church for about a month. And no, I didn't tell any of you.. Ok Kyrk, I did talk to him. But then Austin moved down and I went back to what I had done for the past 12 or 13 or 14 years... I don't remember... Then for the past 8 months, I have been doing what I want like normal. I have learned a lot and I have struggled a lot. And no, I didn't tell anyone. Ok, well Kyrk.. Sorry everyone else but Kyrk and I have become so close again and I love him. He has been my rock lately and I needed that. For those of you who don't know him.. that is my brother. One of them. Anyway... during Christmas this year, I went through something that just about tore my heart out. and NO!! I am not going to share that with you. But, my Christmas and new years really kind of sucked in a way. But now that I look at it, it really didn't. What i had to go through I don't wish on anyone, but I needed to go through it. My heart is full because of what I have learned in the past 2 weeks. And more importantly, what I have learned today.

Today, I went to church. Not because anyone told me to. Not because I felt like it, I went to church because I wanted to be there. I have done a lot of soul searching and I have come to realize that I am not where I want to be. Or where I need to be. I have been inactive from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints for about 14 years..... I have gone a couple of times, but not really. I have been through a lot in those 14 years... things I don't wish on anyone, and things I needed to learn. Today I went to church, it ended up being the wrong ward mind you, but I firmly believe that my Father in Heaven sent me to that ward today. The talks today were on Coming unto Christ and I do believe that everyone of those men that spoke looked right at me the whole time. I cried in the second verse of the opening song. I cried during the sacrament song. The high councilman that was present, I think he wore a hole in me, cause I know he was staring at me the whole time. I learned something today. As sacrament got over, I had decided to go home... I left the building and got about 300 yards away and turned around and went back. I asked a member of the bishopric if I could have a blessing. Now mind you, I have always believed, but more for others than for myself. Today, I believe for myself. I asked a complete stranger for a blessing. He got the missionaries to help him, and I know that blessing was from my Father in Heaven. He spoke to me through this man I don't even remember his name, and told me He loved me. You all have no idea how much I needed to hear that. And that my friends and family is why my heart is full!!!